My wife is in that magical time of life romantically described in demography journals as “childbearing age.” Now the male privilege is we are ready for creating a child, if you ask us, from age 11 to approximately 118. Though nature offsets this by making us suitable for childrearing only from ages 34 to 36. […]
People often ask me: “Adam, what’s it like to be married to a charming, beautiful, and talented woman such as your wife?” I’ll normally just smile coyly with some playful remark—maybe “I’ll never tell” or some such thing—and then leave my in-laws family reunion. I don’t mean to be rude; I really just don’t know
“Your lab results came back,” the doctor said, grimly. “Your cholesterol has risen to unhealthy levels. If you do not get it under control immediately the next few years might be your last.” “Certainly, there’s some medicine I could take to help me?” I asked, starting to cry. “There’s a small pill on the market
Alternatively titled: Artemis Foul … Now is the perfect time to visit Florida. And not just because it’s the rare time of year where you won’t be simultaneously drowned in a hurricane and burnt alive by the sun. Over the next few weeks, visitors to America’s Wattle, when they’re done ruining the Orlando airport, can
To the Stars, Through Bureaucracy Read More »
Alternatively titled: How My Newborn’s Diarrhea Can Save America and Possibly Iran … Gasoline. Just the word triggers your anxiety. Since the start of the Iran War oil prices have doubled, capping off an already meteoric rise from inflation and the conflict in Ukraine. It’s gotten bad enough that even our trusty media has sprung
What Can Brown do for US? Read More »
We’re smack-dab in the middle of a very special season. It’s the time of year the entire world stops and thinks about Catholicism. Even if they won’t care to remember Easter, every part of society nevertheless now remembers (even if just to roll their eyes and gag) our religious heritage: the Fillet O’ Fish. But
I’m pleased to share my latest article. This one is a humor-based article, the first of mine actually published anywhere, and can be found here. It makes serious points about our current political/food environment, but I hope you find it an enjoyable and lighthearted read.
‘Eat Yourself Healthy’ — My latest in Crisis Magazine Read More »
My wife and I had a very happy marriage until about last Thursday. I of course don’t mean those sickeningly-sweet Hallmark movie ideas of a “happy marriage,” where neither party has had even a bad hair day, let alone enough nighttime gas to blow the hair off a gerbil. I mean the real life “happy
The Marital Rinse Cycle Read More »